Hilary Duff’s Real-Life Fairytale

If you’re looking for yet another way to tell we’re not Canadians, here goes: we know less than squat about the NHL. We don’t know why players fight all the time, or why New York has two teams, or why they never, ever let us drive the Zamboni.  However, thanks to Edmonton Oilers center Mike Comrie, we do have a better idea of what puck-pusher salaries look like.

Have you seen the gifts he’s been lavishing on La Duff? What about that time he surprised the double-threat with a $100K Mercedes Benz G-Class SUV? (It was her 20th birthday, and she was reportedly expecting “shoes or something.” Way to under-promise and over-deliver, Mikey!) Now that they’ve been together for two glorious years, it looks like Duff’s hit the next tier of gifting; while on a V-Day vacay in Hawaii, Mike popped the question with a 4.5-carat, radiant-cut engagement ring.

See what Moonit had to say about another hockey player named Mike and his blonde fiancee.

If you’re wondering, it’s rumored to be worth a cool million. (And yes; that sound you just heard was us swooning.) It’s hard to be anything other than glowy when you’re faced with seven-digit presents, but does the happy couple have what it takes for a long-term face-off? Moonit’s on the case.

According to Moonit’s analysis, Hilary (born on September 28, 1987) and Mike (born on September 11, 1980) are in for a “sexy-time explosion.” Their readout reveals that, “there’s some kind of connection there, but it’s decidedly skin deep.” This superficiality might suggest shaky ground, but their assessment goes on to say that, “these two don’t even need to speak the same language; they can communicate sufficiently well for themselves on raw passion alone. Who needs words when you’ve got Victoria’s Secret on hand?” (Case in point: right after Comrie proposed, the paparazzi snapped some bedroom footage of Hilary “thanking” Mike.)

Find out what’s in store for your relationships on Moonit.

Any downsides? “Even though these two have a good helping of physical stamina, they’re not going to be running any mental marathons together.” To that we say: so what? We’re guessing the cute-as-a-button pop tart and her caring Canuck aren’t exactly yearning for deep, soul-searching discussions, and besides–when they’re together, they “laugh [their] heads off.” Moonit concludes the duo’s destiny report with some happy news: “there’s a good chance they’ll be able to keep themselves entertained in the bedroom for years on end.” That sounds like a recipe for marital bliss to us.