Check out some other Oscar-worthy PR plays.

According to Moonit’s birth date analysis, Jamie (born on December 13, 1967) and Stacey (born on January 20, 1966) are “en fuego.” Their physical compatibility is right up there with the best of ‘em, and it seems these two have, “passion to spare…the attraction levels are off the charts.” Understandable, given they’ve both got sex appeal up the yingyang. Even still, we wonder if there’s any long-term potential for these two. Drumroll, please…

Eh. Not so much. Moonit says, “it’s usually more about the anticipation and thrill of the chase than actually getting together for good.” Apparently, when these two combine their “white-hot attraction” with some “emotional volatility” and a “penchant for possessiveness,” they’ve got the makings of a “spicy, far-fetched telenovela.” Moonit urges them to “go for it,” but only if they’ve got a, “flair for the dramatic, and love living out subplots about evil twins and international intrigue.”

See what’s in store for your relationships on Moonit.

When these two lock lips, “there’ll never be a dull moment,” for better or worse. Jamie seems like he’s up for a little crazytown every now and then, but there’s often a price to pay for a constant state of drama. (That would be their sanity.) Underneath it all, they probably both know that, “if they’re actually into a healthy, mutually beneficial thing, they might want to write this off as a fun hookup, and promptly change the channel.” Here’s hoping.

*See what we did there? CLUELESS 4EVA!

Check out what Moonit had to say about another super-young Disney couple.

Okay. We’re better now, especially since it looks like Liam and Miley were a match from the start. According to their birth date analysis, it’s no surprise that Miley (born on November 23, 1992) and Liam (born on January 31, 1990) found love on-set: they fit together “like a glove.” As their romantic assessment reports, “we hope Miley’s ready to settle down with her soul mate, because she’s definitely found him. [He's] someone she understands deeply, even with all his profound craziness.” It turns out that she can, “actually be herself around this guy, because she knows he’s going to love her even when she breaks out or comes home all sweaty from the gym.” Awwwwwwwgag.

See what’s in store for your relationships on Moonit.

But wait; it gets better (or more annoying, depending on how you look at it.) “When they’re together–and they’ll want to be together all the time–everything is a thousand times cooler, so they’ll find their lives can become easily intertwined…They’re so synergistic, they could even turn a trip to the National Museum of Mold Spores and Boredom into an awesome romantic escapade. And when either of them is having a bad day, they can make each other laugh… just by hearing the sound of each other’s voices.”

At least someone likes Miley’s cackle. It kind of makes our ears wish they could bleed harder. Just to rub it in our faces a little more, their synergy, “extends to their finances, so they’ll be able to afford their adventures and generate some extra cash to boot.” (We’ll go with it. Miley’s barely out of her teen years, but she can buy and sell a Baltic Nation a few times over.)

So, what’s Moonit’s prognosis? “Go ahead–start that project together! Pop out a few kids!” Cool! Except! Um, you know that part about them both being super young? Yeah. It might be too early in their lives to connect with someone so deeply, and since they both have a lot of growing up to do, it’s likely better for them to circle back in a few years. Or, you know…when they can both legally vote.

In a dear-lord-how-on-earth-did-that-happen moment, Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake have signed on to play the romantic leads in The Bad Teacher, Columbia Pictures’ latest rom-com. For those of you keeping track, Diaz and Timberlake were smoochily inseparable for almost four years, and when things dissolved in 2007, they weren’t exactly…amicable. Or polite. Or non-temper-tantrum-y. Now that they’ll be in close professional quarters, Moonit’s dying to see if these former lovebirds can put aside their differences, bring the magic on set, and turn the The Bad Teacher into a good venture.

See what Moonit had to say about Justin’s relationship with Jessica Biel.

According to their birth date analysis, Justin (born on January 31, 1981) and Cameron (born on August 30, 1972) can definitely spur each other on to bring their respective “A-Game”s. Their business assessment indicates that they have the opportunity to “strike career gold” when they’re around each other, “inspiring each other to keep climbing that corporate ladder.” Maybe that’s why the two of them were on such upward career trajectories when they dated; from 2003 on, JT’s solo career really took off and Diaz established herself as one of the highest paid female actresses of her generation.

Read what Moonit predicted for Justin’s ex Britney and her new man.

We can’t promise this predictable school-teacher-love-triangle flick will be a hit, but we can say that, “these co-workers have the makings of a supremely positive, long-term business pairing… This partnership has the potential to grow, flourish and broaden their horizons.” So, what’s the secret of JT and Cameron’s mutual success? “They energize each other by piquing their collective intellectual curiosity, and he’s able to soak up everything she says to him.” The end result: “a rock-solid dynamic that keeps them both motivated and focused on achieving their professional goals.” As long as they keep the make-out sessions on camera and out of their personal lives, it sounds like these two are golden.

Find out what’s in store for your relationships on Moonit.

Check out American Idol contestant-turned-super star Carrie Underwood’s relationship assessment.

Mezhgan’s been spotted sporting the $750,000 6-carat sparkler Simon gave her on Valentine’s Day, and in a recent interview, Simon admitted that he’s, “ready to settle down and have little Simons running around.”  Now that the nausea’s subsided, Moonit’s ready to find out why Simon’s so smitten and how Mezghan managed to tame the wild, arrogant beast.

According to their birth date analysis, Mezhgan (born on March 28, 1973) and Simon (born on October 7, 1959) are great at challenging and pushing each other to the limit. Simon would likely agree; Cowell’s rep claims Mezhgan is, “independent and says what she thinks and feels, and [Simon] likes that.” (Captain Pushy likes to be pushed around a little, eh? No surprise there.)

Between the two of them, Mezghan is the one who’s likely to, “take the lead and keep things running with her boundless energy,” but this couple immediately knew they, “shared a thirst for excitement, a longing for adventure, and a lust for life… Since the insta-bond was already in place, it’s a good thing that these two can also work well together as a team.”

See what’s in store for your relationships on Moonit.

The reading goes on to say that, “even though things can get chaotic, he always keeps her in check and makes sure things are planned in advance.” This can be an, “exciting and possibly exhausting combination, but we’re pretty confident these two will thoroughly enjoy themselves and get a whole lot done when they’re together.”

Sounds good, no? Well, we’d love to say that things look super rosy, but Simon and his ex, Terri, also had off-the-charts compatibility (and physical attraction to boot). So, what’s changed, we ask? Back in the Seymour days, Cowell was a confirmed bachelor, and was loud and proud about his anti-marriage/anti-kids status. Could it be that turning the big 5-0 turned his head around? If so, it was just in time for Mezhgan to reap the benefits of his new-found wisdom.

Have you seen the gifts he’s been lavishing on La Duff? What about that time he surprised the double-threat with a $100K Mercedes Benz G-Class SUV? (It was her 20th birthday, and she was reportedly expecting “shoes or something.” Way to under-promise and over-deliver, Mikey!) Now that they’ve been together for two glorious years, it looks like Duff’s hit the next tier of gifting; while on a V-Day vacay in Hawaii, Mike popped the question with a 4.5-carat, radiant-cut engagement ring.

See what Moonit had to say about another hockey player named Mike and his blonde fiancee.

If you’re wondering, it’s rumored to be worth a cool million. (And yes; that sound you just heard was us swooning.) It’s hard to be anything other than glowy when you’re faced with seven-digit presents, but does the happy couple have what it takes for a long-term face-off? Moonit’s on the case.

According to Moonit’s analysis, Hilary (born on September 28, 1987) and Mike (born on September 11, 1980) are in for a “sexy-time explosion.” Their readout reveals that, “there’s some kind of connection there, but it’s decidedly skin deep.” This superficiality might suggest shaky ground, but their assessment goes on to say that, “these two don’t even need to speak the same language; they can communicate sufficiently well for themselves on raw passion alone. Who needs words when you’ve got Victoria’s Secret on hand?” (Case in point: right after Comrie proposed, the paparazzi snapped some bedroom footage of Hilary “thanking” Mike.)

Find out what’s in store for your relationships on Moonit.

Any downsides? “Even though these two have a good helping of physical stamina, they’re not going to be running any mental marathons together.” To that we say: so what? We’re guessing the cute-as-a-button pop tart and her caring Canuck aren’t exactly yearning for deep, soul-searching discussions, and besides–when they’re together, they “laugh [their] heads off.” Moonit concludes the duo’s destiny report with some happy news: “there’s a good chance they’ll be able to keep themselves entertained in the bedroom for years on end.” That sounds like a recipe for marital bliss to us.

See what Moonit had to say about Reese and Jake’s relationship.

Since his marriage to Ms. Witherspoon withered into bickering and judgment, it’s easy to see why Ryan (born on September 10, 1974) would gravitate toward Abbie (born on August 7, 1982); simply put, Abbie’s his “happy place,” and this is, “one of those relationships that just works.” Their romantic assessment goes on to say that, “for once, they don’t have to deal with any of the annoying situations that are par for the course with dating life. These two ‘get’ where the other person is coming from, and make each other feel as comfortable as possible.”

Find out what’s in store for your relationships on Moonit.

When the two of them got together, Ryan could finally, “toss aside his fear of rejection, just be himself and go for it–no holds barred!” Evidently, he loved that they were, “both up for anything, and that they could take off on an adventure or start a new project together at a moment’s notice.” In particular, Phillippe appreciated that, “she [made] him a more spontaneous person who lives life to the fullest.” That may sound a little one-sided, but she was also reaping some pretty sweet rewards; he was, “home [for her], providing someplace safe, stable and supportive to come back to…figuring out what she need[ed] and serving it up with a smile.”

Um, honestly? We’re kind of left scratching our heads, here. This couple should be setting the gold standard for Hollywood bliss, so why in the holy paparazzi are they breaking up? The only warning Moonit’s assessment serves up is that this couple needs to, “address emotional tensions and keep them from building up” in order to achieve a life of awesomeness. And while we guess that’s a valid point, we’d bet dollars to donuts that Ryan’s notorious wandering eye probably got the best of him. Again.

Check out what Moonit had to say about Kellan’s Twilight co-stars.

Since New Years, the on-again pair has been sneaking around, and AnnaLynne was even caught booty-calling Kellan’s cabana in Miami. Just this week, AnnaLynne let on about a Kellan meet-up that happened after a Nintendo DSi Studio appearance. (Well, duh. She was flirtexting with him the whole time she was there.) For any of you who missed it last time around, we’ll recap our take on the couple :

Does he-of-the-ridiculous-six-pack deserve a second chance, or should the bloodsucker be impales for his questionably bad behavior? The autopsy results are in, and Moonit’s analysis of their birth dates suggests he’s actually worth keeping around. Moonit’s romantic assessment recommends they they, “tell their friends to stop worrying because this relationship is well worth their time.”

And Moonit goes on to say that they, “have a ton of potential to play and work well together since their combined energy is through the roof.” Considering that Kellan and AnnaLynne met on the set of 90210, that work / play idea seems to be true (for those of you keeping score, he appeared on six episodes of the show as character George Evans).

The output also reveals that they, “have the ability to bring out the absolute best in each other: he’s got the initiative and energy needed to get anything done, especially when combined with her ever-present optimism, planning skills and ability to charm the pants off anyone around.” Wow. That kind of chemistry is nothing to sneeze at, and if we were AnnaLynne, we’d reconsider the break-up.

See what’s in store for your relationships on Moonit!

Go ahead and co-mingle those gorgeous genes with his and pop out a brood of meal tickets to star in the 2030 remake of “90210: Christ, Why is This Show Still On?” Long-term planning is our specialty. You’re welcome.

We don’t mean to get all covet-y or anything, but he is one of those rare dashingly-handsome-and-oh-yeah-did-we-mention-he’s-also-smart-and-hilarious-and-talented guys we’ve all been pining over since we were elbow-deep in MASH notes. Even still, we guess we can put aside our jealousy for a second or two to see what Moonit predicts for this charming duo. (And to figure out if we’re going to be living in the mansion or the shack.)

Check out Moonit’s assessment of other engaged young Hollywood couples.

According to their birth dates, Emily (born on February 23, 1983) and John (born on October 20, 1979) got themselves “two tickets to paradise” when they hooked up. And their relationship can, “closely resemble a buffet of awesomeness if they have the means to bankroll it.” Apparently, these two are inclined to, “feed each other’s tendency to indulge in the finer things in life.” (We see nothing wrong with side-by-side mani-pedis and couple’s massage sessions…provided that we’re invited.)

See what’s in store for your relationships on Moonit!

Things seem like they’re going great because, well, they are! “They feel totally connected…but it can also mean neither of them is putting the kibosh on some of the not-so-practical ideas they come up with.” Luckily for these Hollywood A-listers, they’re not going to be pinching pennies any time soon. “Since there’s a nice expense account to fall back on, take her along for the ride…you two are into a lot of the same things…and that makes for fun times, both in and out of bed.”

Check out what couple might be next to the altar…

Not only are they blessed with brimming checkbooks and smoochy simpatico, but Emily and John have a pretty good thing going on in their professional lives. Blunt is, “more than a breath of fresh air; she’s like an arctic blast that shoots right through John’s climate-controlled office and smacks him in the face with a fantastic work ethic.” Not only does Emily have John, “pumped, but she seems to be the perfect person to help him tackle his looming work headaches.” Kudos, guys. And we’ll be checking the mail every day for that wedding invite.

Check out Moonit’s analysis of Jen’s relationship with her ex.

So, we’re pretty psyched that Jen’s moved on to an equally pretty but far more age-appropriate beau: Gerard Butler, who she celebrated her 41st bday with in Cabo. Now that Jen’s dating an “unpretentious guy’s guy,” Moonit’s taking a look at whether these two rom-com veterans can find real-life love with each other.

According to their birth date analysis, Jennifer (born on February 11, 1969) and Gerard (born on November 13, 1969) are straight-up good together. These two have, “the ability to bring out the absolute best in each other,” and like most great teams, “it’s really rewarding for them to accomplish things together.” (Positive collaborations, you say? Like their co-starring roles in The Bounty Hunter? How’s that for relationship foreshadowing?)

See what Moonit said about Jen’s ex-hubbie Brad.

Moonit’s assessment reveals that “no matter how big or small the task may be, he’s willing to take the initiative, and he has the energy to see just about anything through to completion. Plus, she’s got never-ending optimism to spare.” So, what happens when the going gets tough? “She motivates him to keep his chin up, and works some serious magic in the organizational department.” 

The reading goes on to say that they, “also thoroughly appreciate each other.” Whether or not Jen realizes it, she “quietly admires his ‘get it done’ attitude,” and Gerard knows, “he couldn’t have gotten anything accomplished without her.”

Since these these two will likely, “diverge on lifestyle choices and long-term goals” at times, it’s important for them to give each other the benefit of the doubt, hear each other out, and steer clear of mysterious, young strangers bearing flatulent, balloon-like toys.

Find out what’s in store for your relationships on Moonit.

Check out Moonit’s assessment of another reality TV star, Paris’ former BFF Kim Kardashian, and her man.

We hypothesized that Doug was merely the new Tinkerbell (and doomed to the Hilton dungeon that hides pets who’ve outlived their PR usefulness), but it looks like things are getting pretty serious. Doug recently told reporters that he’s got big plans for their V-Day trip to Brazil’s Carnaval, and since he’s blabbed about taking a 2010 trip down the aisle with a certain Hilton, it’s time for Moonit to step in.

Oddly enough, Paris (born on February 17, 1981) and Doug (born on October 22, 1985) are a good influence on each other. And Doug’s presence prompts Paris to seek some direction in her life. (We know…) He’s actually, “the perfect person to help build the 2.0 version of her.” Their romantic reading indicates that, “it’s no coincidence these two met, and since they’re so drawn to each other, it’s almost impossible to stay away.”

See what’s in store for your relationship on Valentine’s Day using Moonit.

Moonit goes on to say that Doug is, “there to guide her through life’s many challenges, helping her harness her energy and channel it into something productive.” As if that weren’t weird enough, the bizarro-world reading continues: “not only do they have some serious sparks going on, but they can actually grow, learn and mature from this relationship.” Could it be that Doug’s the “chosen one” capable of making music sweet enough to soothe the savage Paris? As long as it’s not a joint album, we’re on board.